Wizards of Winter

This is my favorite time of year.  Halloween is over, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and then it's Christmas!  Now is the time when Christmas music starts playing, holiday decorations begin to go up, and even Christmas movies start playing on TV.  One thing that always helps me get in the holiday spirit is listening to the Lost Christmas Eve album by the Trans Siberian Orchestra.  Not only do they play the Christmas classics, but they also throw in some originals while totally rocking out.

It was probably about 8 or 9 years ago that I went to a Trans Siberian Orchestra concert with my parents and sister, Morgan.  All I remember is it being crazy loud, bright, and incredibly awesome!  Well on a whim last week, my mom and I decided to look up their tour this year to see if they would be anywhere nearby.  The Trans Siberian Orchestra would be in Erie, Pennsylvania the following Thursday.  My youngest sister, Sydney, hadn't seen them live before so we thought it would be a nice surprise to take her.  We bought the cheapest tickets in the 300 section since we were so close to the concert date and that's all that they had left.  Fast forward to last night...we drove to Erie, arrived at the concert, and got to our seats-which ended up being AMAZING!  They weren't the closest to the stage, but we had leg room, counter space, and food!  The concert was amazing too!  It wasn't the same as it was 8 or 9 years ago, but still just as loud, just as bright, and even more spectacular!  It definitely helped me get into the Christmas spirit and I am ready for it all: the snow, music, movies, and most of all that holiday spirit that makes this time of year so special.

If you haven't listened to Trans Siberian Orchestra I recommend their Lost Christmas Eve album.  And if you do listen to them already, but haven't seen them live check out their website to see if they are coming to a city near you!  Check out some pictures I took from the concert below :)

I'm Back!

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you may have noticed my gradual return to social media. After going a little more than a week without social media in my life, I decided since I do want a career in news and am obsessed with pop culture I should have somewhat of a social media presence. But I did want to give some insight on my period of sobriety.

 1. I can live without social media. I know it seems impossible, but it’s true. Think about it…social media hasn’t been around forever-at least not as long as I have been alive-so I just went back to the “good ole days.”

 2. I had a great deal of time on my hands to do things more worthwhile. Rather than sitting on social media for hours, I had more time to read, play instruments that I haven’t touched in years, go to the gym, hang out with friends, write, and even cook!

3. I fell in love with the classics. I decided to watch some classic movies: Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Little Women. If you haven’t seen them I highly recommend that you do. Both have some very empowering female characters and both just have amazing scores, story lines, and happy endings.

4. Liberation. It is kind of liberating knowing that no one knows what I am doing, who I am hanging out with, where I am going, or just any of my business in general. I really enjoyed the fact that everything I was doing was only my personal information. I wasn’t broadcasting it to my followers, and if there were people I did want to know…I told them. I had freedom to choose who I thought deserved to know what I’m up to rather than putting it up for the whole world to see.

 After my experience, I don’t live on social media as much as I used to. I will check it maybe once a day or every other day. I’ve posted a few things, but not as much as I used to. I have learned to value my time and that social media doesn’t deserve all of it. Since when did it become cool to tell the whole world your vacation plans or what your outfit looked like or where you’re going. Don’t get me wrong I do value social media’s presence in today’s society…it’s unavoidable. But I think you can be a part of it without completely giving up all of your time and privacy. If you have social media accounts I highly encourage you to try going social media silent. It really shows you how to be in the moment…no distractions. The one thing I really got out of this whole experience is I really learned what is important to me and was reminded of what makes me really happy.

Oatmeal Pumpkin Muffins

Today was monumental day in the "Life of Brynne Deppas."  I baked.  Yes, I actually used the kitchen all by myself for the first time.  I know I am so pathetic, but at least I am putting myself out there and trying.

My first item I chose was a baked good.  I figure baking is a little easier than making a full fledge meal. I wanted something simple and seasonal.  When I was searching the blogosphere for some inspiration I came across the perfect recipe: Oatmeal Pumpkin Muffins.  I read through the ingredients and directions and knew that this was the perfect thing to try.  Well I made a bit of mess during the actual baking process and probably seemed crazy since I really needed to talk myself through it-out loud-but overall baking wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Now am I in love with it?  No, but I did enjoy myself...plus having a marathon of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" to watch helped too. :)

Anyway, I had my parents try it after sampling the finished product for myself and I thought that these muffins turned out pretty good (my parents agreed).  So below is a picture of the Oatmeal Pumpkin Muffins baked to perfection by moi!  Also I am including the recipe too so if anyone is interested they can bake these healthy fall treats!  The recipe called for dark chocolate chips and walnuts, but I opted for just the dark chocolate chips since I am not a fan of walnuts!  Comment below if you try the recipe or make some modifications to make it even better!

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour                           1 1/2 cups canned pumpkin
1 1/2 cups old fashioned oats                           3 tablespoons canola oil
3/4 cup brown sugar                                        1/4 cup fat free milk
1 teaspoon baking powder                               1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon baking soda                                 1 large egg white
1 teaspoon cinnamon                                       1/2 cup dark chocolate chips (optional)
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger                             1/2 cup walnuts (optional)
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions:
1.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit, and line muffin tin with cupcake wrappers (recipe makes 14 muffins)
2.  Whisk dry ingredients and spices together in large bowl
3.  Add pumpkin, oil, mild, egg, and egg white to a medium sized bowl and mix.  Add wet ingredients to dry and mis well.  Stir in chocolate chips and walnuts.
4.  Fill muffin tins evenly and bake 15 to 18 minutes (I baked mine for 17 minutes)

See Ya Social Media

Oh let me tweet that…I should put that on Instagram…Let me check Facebook…Did you see what she just tweeted…Oh my god they changed their relationship status…

This is what my life has become: social media obsessed.  Literally I don’t think I can remember a day when I wasn’t on my phone checking Facebook, Twitter, Vine, Instagram, and the latest and greatest social apps. Recently, I realized how much time I really am wasting on my phone scrolling through all of these updates and photos.  Whenever I am at a lost for something to do or have a spare moment I immediately look down at my phone.  So I have decided that I am going to change that by going social media sober.

Yes, starting today I am going offline.  No more Facebook creeping, Instagram “liking,” or Twitter “retweeting.”  I am going to focus on myself and what I really enjoy doing in this newfound spare time.  Like going to the gym, applying for full time jobs, writing, reading, and attempting to cook/bake.  Plus sometimes I think that all social media does is ruin my day.  So no more social media for this girl.  I am still going to read and write in my blog, but that’s it.  Then after a week of going cold turkey I’ll see how bad or good this detox is going.  I am hopeful that it will actually be a positive and allow myself to discover new ways to spend my time rather than pine over statuses or photos.  I feel like today social media is just a glorified form of bragging: look at my new clothes, look at my awesome life, look at my handsome boyfriend, look at my beautiful selfie. That’s not what it should be about and I am ready to get far, far away from it- especially all of the selfies.  So to all my friends out there who are looking to contact me, your best bet is to text me.  And for those of you who don't have my cell phone number, email me at brynne.deppas@gmail.com if you need to get a hold of me.

When I think about social media and the obsession, I always go back to this quote I read in a TIME Magazine article: “Climb the mountain to see the world, not for the world to see you.”  I’m ready to start climbing and am excited to see the amazing view for myself-not social media.  

Help From My Friends (And Family)

Transition.  When you think about it, life is always a constant period of transition.  Transition between years of age…grades in school…moving to a new city…or transition to life after college.  Self reflection is a huge thing for me when I am going through a change in my life.  I immediately reflect on where I am, what I have done, and what I want to do.  I just need to be by myself to figure out what truly makes me happy.  Well I am currently going through one of the roughest transitions to date.  One thing is very true about life, when things get tough you find out who really cares about you.

This past week I have felt more love and support from my friends and family no matter where they are.  Random texts from my sister who is at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio always help me forget about my life’s current state.  Conversations with my longtime best friend who is in Rochester finishing up her senior year helps me feel sane and justify my feelings.  And even a childhood friend who happened to be only a 5 minute drive from my house helped me channel my stress and emotions into hour long sessions at the gym.  My friends who are still back in Cleveland attending school still have time to make me feel special and loved too.  But the best surprise came from my real life Sex and the City soul mate (as my mom referred to her).  My best friend Catie who is a senior at John Carroll (and a fellow blogger: My life between state lines), had the most beautiful bouquet of flowers sent to me Monday morning.  I had no idea and I was completely shocked...in a good way.  It was exactly what I needed! Even though she couldn’t be with me this weekend, she still wanted me to know that she is always there for me no matter what. 

I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life who are there with unconditional love and support. These past few days have made me realize that no matter what transition I am going through, no matter where I am in life, and no matter what decisions I make, I have amazing people behind me to help me along the way. To all of you who are reading this…I hope you have people like this in your life, and if not a group of people than just one person.  All it takes is one positive word, one piece of encouragement, or one hug at the end of the day. If you have that then you have the world.  No transition is too hard when you have friends and family there behind you.

My sisters and I before we met the great comedian Martin Short!

My beautiful bouquet from Catie :)

Domesticated

Domestic.  When I think of someone as being domestic I immediately think of a '50s housewife who cooks, cleans, and runs an entire household.  The definition of domestic is having to do with the home, household, household affairs, or the family.  Now it is the 2013 and I am one who believes women have the choice to put their career first rather than settling for a life in the home.  But I still think that having the knowledge to take care of a home is important for anyone.

I give people a lot of credit who are able to run an entire household and are actually good at it.  Unfortunately, I wasn't given the domestic gene or the desire to learn how to get it.  So I have decided to start a personal challenge.  I want to learn how to cook, be crafty, and just a little bit more "domestic."  I mean lets be serious...I am NOT going to be living at home forever and once I am on my own I don't want to fall into the rut of pre-heated meals and take out.  So I'm choosing to try and learn how to cook or bake something new every week and then post it here, which will hopefully help me stick to it.  Also I am planning on re-doing my room soon and what better time to get crafty?  I am ready to start some DIY projects to decorate my new sanctuary and maybe even craft some gifts for the holidays!

I'm ready to become domesticated, but on my own terms.

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What's For You Will Not Pass You

I have officially finished my first week as a "working gal."  And there is only one way I can describe it: AWESOME!  I have definitely missed being so busy that I barely have time to eat.  I know that may sound miserable and odd, but to me being busy is when I am at my best.  And having to work 2 jobs, act as chauffeur to my sister, and run errands I am back to my usual busy self.  So let me tell you a little bit about my week...

This week at the radio station I got to spend a few days at the beautiful Chautauqua Institution acting as producer and assistant for the Jim Roselle Show.  Chautauqua is an interesting place because you just never know who you'll end up meeting.  I met some great people visiting from across the United States, a few doctors, an author, a Chaplin, and even a gentleman who worked for the Associated Press for 40 plus years!  It was an amazing experience and I got to watch the legend Jim Roselle do what he does best.  I also got to be board operator this week, which is always fun.  Picking songs, reading news, and making sure everything goes smoothly.  But I got to end my week as the stand in News Director for the station.  It was so much fun having the opportunity to write, produce, and deliver the news.  After this first week I am even more sure that the decision to live at home and gain more experience was the right one.  The time flew by this week and I never felt like I was doing "work," which means there is no doubt that I picked the right career.

What made this week even sweeter was that I traveled to Cleveland, Ohio to visit my sister- newly moved in freshman- at Kent State University and stay with my best friends in their new apartment!  It was so much fun to see my sister who is loving college life!  Going to a big school away from home was the best choice for her.  She is so in her element, and I am so happy she has found her place.  Now I anxiously wait for her to go through recruitment and hopefully find a group of girls that she can call her forever friends.  I visited my forever friends and we picked up right where we left off.  Brunching in their new apartment, going for dinners, running errands, and laughing til it hurt.  It was such a blast and I didn't want to leave!  But I am making a promise to myself to try and get out there one weekend a month if they'll have me!  And I'll always bring them fun presents for their new home since they're letting me crash there.

Overall post grad life isn't so bad.  It took me a while to find the silver lining to it all, but I think I am slowly finding my way.  At first I never thought that I would enjoy living at home and being away from my friends, but it's not so bad.  It's all about balance and making everything work the best you can.  I'm not going to say it was easy, but when is life easy?  My E! True Hollywood Story won't be as exciting without some bumps in the road right?  :)  

Funny the Way It Is

It's funny how life works sometimes.  It was only a week or so ago when I was going back and forth on what my next step in life should be.  I was wrestling with the idea of moving away and starting fresh in a new place or stay at home for a few months while I figure out what exactly I want to do with the rest of my life.  Well it seems that between that time and now everything has happened for me all at once.

My parents sat me down and told me I needed to make a decision or establish a time frame on what my next step will be; but, fate decided to step in and decide that next step for me.  After this conversation I received an email from one of the local radio stations where I interned last summer.  The email was about a part time position that would include me running the board for remote broadcasts, reading the news, and even opportunities to write my own news stories.  I felt like this wasn't just a coincidence, but an opportunity that I couldn't pass up.  Fate had decided for me that while I continue looking for that full time position, I should still live at home while gaining valuable experience in a field that I love.  I am so excited to get started and know that this position will help keep my skills sharp and prepare me for that next position.  

Another thing that helped in my decision to stay at home came in an unexpected phone call.  When I was a senior in high school I participated in the Lakewood Area Junior Miss Program, now known as the Lakewood Area Distinguished Young Women Program, and won the title of 2010 Lakewood Area Junior Miss.  I loved participating in the program and always encourage seniors to participate.  So when I received a phone call from this year's producer of the show asking me to be the host or emcee this year I was very surprised...pleasantly surprised.  I was so flattered, honored, and excited to be able to be a part of this program once again.  Also it's another opportunity to get professional experience doing what I may want to do for the rest of my life.

So I guess that everything is starting to fall into place.  I never would've guessed that I'd be living at home while everyone else went back to school; but, I'm actually pretty content with my decision.  I feel like this is just what I need for the "right now."  And who knows what is just around the corner for me. In these past few weeks alone I have been offered 2 amazing opportunities, so who knows what fate will deal me next.

Soul Searching

From the time we are in kindergarten we are asked the same question...

What do you want to be when you grow up?

At first the answers were simple: firefighter, teacher, doctor, mom, or Disney Princess.  But as we grow up and learn about the many different opportunities out there the list grows.  By middle school the answers are scientist, elementary school teacher, the President of the United States, or a writer.  Then high school happens where we find what our interests are, our favorite subjects, and develop a clearer picture of what we may want to be when we grow up.

By college it's time to declare a major or some basic idea of what you think you would be interested in doing for the rest of your life.  Throughout my life I have always been interested in everything.  School came easy for me and I never really had a tough time in any subject...except maybe math.  Yeah I definitely didn't like math.  So I got through high school and was ready to start college still tackling the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Well I narrowed it down to 2 different tracks:

       Communications                            OR                                    Pre-Med

Yes, I know they two completely different tracks but they represented the two things I was interested in the most.  I loved English class, reading, and writing all throughout school.  But I also enjoyed science and logically going through a problem and identifying a solution.  I was going back and forth between a field that dealt with the "grey" and another that was all "black and white."  Well everyone always says that college is that time to experiment with different fields...so I did.  I pretty much finished my required classes after my freshman year and decided as a sophomore (well technically as a junior since I came in with so many credits I was graduating early) to give some science classes a try.  

Now that I'm a college grad with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications, I'll let you figure out how those science classes went.  So now I have this degree in a very broad field.  There are so many different facets to the Communications field.  Journalism, public relations, social media, marketing, human resources, sales, writing, blogging, reporting, and so many more that I haven't even discovered yet.  There is so much that I can do with my degree, but it's just figuring out if I want to do it. 

There's still that question looming over my head...What do I want to be when I grow up?  I don't have an answer yet and I'm sure once I do find the answer it will change in 5, 10, or 50 years.  But I need to do some soul searching to find an answer for the "right now."  It could be moving to a new city to find the answer.  It could be staying at home for a few months or a year to figure out what it is I exactly want to do.  It could be going back to school for a higher degree or an entirely different one.  

I guess that question your pre-k or kindergarten teacher asks never really does get answered.  The only answer is finding something that you love to do and are passionate about and do it until you don't.  That could be for a month, a few years, or forever.  But I guess you never really know until you get out there and try to find out what the possible answers are.  So whether you're 5 or 50...what do you want to be when you grow up?

A Little R & R

I know it's been a while since the last time I blogged, but I have done a lot with my time.  The past few weeks have been all about friends and family.  The majority of my posts are about my struggle and frustrations with being a post grad.  However, the last few weeks I was glad I was an unemployed post grad.  I had the time to still go on a weekend getaway with my girlfriends and go on a family vacation.

My entire life I have been dreaming about having great friends like those in shows like Lipstick Jungle and Sex and the City.  I pictured myself sharing my entire life with these girlfriends, growing together, and having a blast.  Well this dream became a reality when I met my best friends at college: Catie, Katie, and A.  The four of us have become close in only two short years, even when there was an ocean between us.  Earlier this summer we decided to take a girlfriend getaway.  Unfortunately A couldn't make it because of an event for her internship.  So Catie, Katie, and I ventured North to Niagara Falls and Niagara on the Lake in Ontario, Canada for a weekend full of gossip, fun, and relaxation.  We partied on Clifton Hill, took in the falls on the Maid of the Mist, and sipped our way through 3 different wineries.  Overall, it was the best weekend of my summer!  I know that this is just the beginning of the many travel adventures to come!

As soon as I arrived back at home it was time to unpack and repack my suitcase for another vacation...this time with my family.  It was my family of 5, my boyfriend Chad, my grandparents, and my aunts, uncles, and cousins on my mom's side to make a grand total of 15 people.  We took a caravan of 3 cars to our favorite summer vacation spot: Bethany Beach, Delaware.  Bethany Beach is your typical beach town filled with quaint boutiques, custard shops, and boardwalks.  But it is a short drive to Ocean City or Rehobeth Beach if you want a change of scenery.  We rent a house with a pool that is a 5-10 minute walk from the beach.  The best part of this vacation is that it is the best place to just relax.  Everyone gets to do whatever they like and not have to worry about staying on any type of schedule.  However our vacation was cut one day short due to crazy amounts of rain and flooding.  But I was so glad that I was able to go on this vacation with my family.  As everyone is getting older it's only going to be harder and harder to get everyone one together, so I'm glad I was able to be there.  

For once I was thankful to be an unemployed, post graduate.  But now the real search for the rest of life begins...

Spur of the Moment

I have realized that my life isn't filled with a normal 9-5 schedule or mandatory obligations.  As long as I can remember my life has always been planned.  I never minded living life on a schedule...in fact I tend to thrive when every minute of my life is scheduled.  I know where I need to be, when I need to be  there, and what I need to be doing.

But now my life isn't planned.  I have an occasional shift to work or a few errands to run, but other than that I'm not living on a schedule.  So it's time to live in the moment.  How did I come to this epiphany or revelation?  Well, I recently went in for my usual highlight and hair cut the other day.  Rather than going with my usual blonde and copper highlights, I told my hairdresser that I wanted something new and different.  I have been getting bored with my look and am getting tired of always being referred to as "blonde."  So why not try something new by going bold and dying my hair?  I have been blonde ever since I started getting highlights in 7th grade.  I have never completely dyed my hair, but I was in the moment and feeling spontaneous.  So why not?  It's just hair, right?  If I really don't like it I can sit out in the sun and wash it twice a day so the color fades.

This spur of the moment decision definitely worked in my favor!  I am in LOVE with my new hair color.  I feel like I am starting all over with a clean slate...the post graduate me.  It is a change from my blonde hair that I used to have, but I am ready to leave that "me" behind.  This decision taught me that maybe I should do more in the spur of the moment.  I am sure that not all of my decisions will work out in my favor, but at this point what do I have to lose?  It's time to leave my planned life behind - well most of it - and start living my life a little bit more in the moment.  No more schedules, appointments, or concrete plans.  Now is the time to be spontaneous, irrational, and a little bit crazy.

Just Passing Through

Stuck in the bubble.  I have figured out why I am always restless and anxious to get out: I don't want to stay stuck.  The bubble I am referring to would be my hometown.  Now let me preface by saying that this is not a post to bash my hometown.  This was a great place to grow up, but it's time to move on.

I have always loved coming home, but this is the longest I have been home all year and I'm ready to leave.  I guess I am much better at being a visitor now rather than a resident.  I need to go somewhere big and full of energy.  A big city where you know no one.  Anonymity.  Where every night there is something new to do, see, or talk about.

Right now, I am living in the place opposite of all that.  In the small town where I live you see at least 5 people you know when you make a trip to the grocery store - no matter what time or when.  Hardly anything new happens here and few people ever want to do anything.  It's the same people, places, and things day in and day out.  Don't get me wrong, I loved growing up here.  I have made some great friends, made some great memories, and accomplished a lot.  But I feel that I have almost tapped out here.

My biggest fear is to become trapped in this bubble and not being able to pop it.  However, I think that my anxiousness, restlessness, and overall need to get out are good signs that I won't be stuck here much longer.  I just need the strength to stick it out and appreciate the time I have here.  I just can't let being stuck crush my spirit or my dreams.  If I dream big and hope hard enough, I know I can be as successful as I want to be.  I see great things for myself...I just need that break.  If I keep the vision of the woman I want to be strong and clear in my mind and heart...I know it can become a reality.

Just Keep Swimming

An object at rest will remain at rest...

Sir Isaac Newton knew about the concept of rest way back when in the late 1600s and early 1700s.  But my question for Sir Newton is can the concept of rest be applied to a recent college graduate?  

Right now, in a way, I am at rest.  Not working full time, spending my days catching up on my shows, and not really doing much of anything.  I've always considered myself a motivated person, but right now I am finding myself stuck in a period of rest.  Now before I go any further I want to clarify that there are in fact two types of rest.  The one I am currently practicing: lazy and stagnant.  The other is rest but more of a state of inner peace and sense of calm - which is were I'd like to be.

But I think I deserve a week...or two...or three...ok four TOPS to be in a state of lazy, do-nothing rest.  I deserve it, right?  I mean for the past 17 or 18 years of my life every waking moment has been spent in school, studying for school, practicing a sport or instrument, attending meetings or practices, and a million other things in between.  This is the first time in my life where I can control my schedule.  I have no obligations outside of my part time job where I make my own schedule and choose the days I don't want to work.  So yes, I will sleep in until noon, I will watch countless reruns of Sex and the City or the Kardashians, and I will lay on the couch in my pajamas all day.

Honesty time: I've been doing this since I graduated almost a month ago.  I guess it's time for my reality check and to finish Sir Isaac Newton's 1st Law of Motion

...unless acted upon by an unbalanced force

That unbalanced force would be my life and it is shoving me into motion.  I can still be at rest, but that other kind of rest I mentioned earlier.  By doing that I can finally begin operating as a normal member of society without getting overwhelmed with what lies ahead.  Blogging and writing help a lot.  It releases my stress and helps me empty my head of all the thoughts and emotions coursing through me in a day.  I've heard tea can help calm people and I am interested in trying some to see how it works for me.  

When it comes down to it, for me to be calm and in a positive state of rest...I need to be happy and content with myself.  I need to find that motivation that has been hibernating for a month and use it as fuel.  Fuel to get me back into a routine even as mundane as doing my laundry every week, cleaning my room, and working out.  If I act on my motivation to accomplish a little something each day, I know I'll feel less overwhelmed and more at rest.  So tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to be a part of it.  I'll probably still watch some reruns, but I'll try and be productive first!  Regardless of your age or the stage you are at in your life, I think it helps to find that one hobby or activity that puts your mind and soul at ease.  Life can be overwhelming, but don't go into a resting hibernation like I did.  Keep pushing forward and Just Keep Swimming!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

It's another gloomy, cloudy, and rainy day in good ol' Jamestown, New York.  This was not the type of weather that I had in mind for summer.  I envisioned sunny days, blue skies, and lazy days by the pool. The rainy weather has forced me to stay indoors, which is probably a good thing when it comes to getting work done.  And it makes it a lot easier to pick up extra shifts at Bath and Body Works.  So I guess these rainy days aren't so bad...but I am definitely ready for them to move on out!  I have never been more ready for sun and heat!

So here I am...another rainy day...stuck inside.  But this rainy day has been special.  I spent the day with my sisters - Morgan and Sydney - and puppy Ellie at my grandparents house.  I enjoy spending time with my Nana and Papa, plus my Nana always puts together the best lunches when we are over.  It was fun to hang out and visit with them.  Then my sisters and I came home and we had an impromptu dance party throughout the entire house blasting Earth, Wind, and Fire.  Only the best.  Rainy days aren't so bad, it just depends on how you spend them.

Now I am sitting in my living room typing this blog post while listening to some classical music with my sisters and my puppy.  Even though the weather may be depressing and gloomy that is the opposite of the type of day I have had spending it with the people I love and care about.  Its days like these where I am thankful I don't have a full time job...yet.

Facing the Forest

Do not go where a path may lead,

go instead where there is no path 

and leave a trail.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote currently describes my outlook on life.  Remember that saying about 2 roads diverging in a yellow wood?  Well I am not looking at 2 roads or even a simple fork in the road...I am facing a forest. There are no paths or signs telling me where to go.  The only way through is to forge ahead and create my own path or my own life.  

I recently left a place with perfectly groomed lawns, sidewalks, signs, and many direct paths to take to guarantee success.  This place was John Carroll University.  Even when I began college 3 short years ago, I never really was faced with a forest.  I was presented with several nice paths that could lead me in many directions, but they would all end at graduation and a degree.  Now this is a whole new situation.  There are no well groomed paths or a step by step plan to success.  The only thing I can do is move forward and hope that I make it to the other side.

So I really am taking Mr. Emerson's advice by choosing to go to a place where there is no path and leave a trail.  But how do I make that path?  Where do I even start?  These are the ultimate questions that I can only answer by trial and error.  I guess this is the time in my life where it is ok to fall down, go the wrong direction, or be spontaneous and end up in a whole new place.  That is the funny thing about being in a forest.  You can't really see where you are going or what direction you're even going in.  But it's not entirely about where you end up but rather the journey that takes you there.  I have already started making my own path by doing multiple things.  Now am I going about it the right way? Well for me I guess I am, but if it doesn't work I can simply turn around and start over.  That is an upside to being a college grad with no job, I have all the time in the world to find my way.

Calling for Back Up

It's about who you know, not what you know.  In looking for a job today that is the common phrase that I have heard countless times.  Now I feel like I am calling on any resource to help get me a job in my field of choice.  It also doesn't help that the industry I want to break in to has to be one of the toughest.  I want to be in the television news business.  Either as a producer, reporter, anchor, or anything that will get my foot in the door.  I just want to be involved in television news in some way, shape or form.  As long as I am delivering the news or information to the public, I will be happy.  But the problem is that getting a job in this industry is easier said than done.  So that commonly said statement really is true when it comes to my job search.

So now I am enlisting the help of my parents, family friends, old internship contacts, and even acquaintances to find me a job or even give me that name of someone they know in the business.  While things are beginning to look somewhat promising, I am still without a job.  But I am eternally grateful for all of those that are working so hard to help me land a job.  I have such big dreams and high goals that it feels like I should almost dream less and lower my expectations.  But do you ever get that feeling deep down inside that you were meant for something more or that you are meant to do great things?  That is how I feel...I just need that break...that first job so that my dreams and goals don't seem so out of reach.

Well it is almost the end of June and I feel like I have an entire army behind me looking for any job in my field.  Hopefully it will all work out and in a matter of weeks I can be blogging about having a job and getting to work as a member of the working world.

The Ladies who Brunch

So it has been 15 years since 4 best friends took on the streets of Manhattan.  Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte strutted their way down 5th Avenue and into the hearts of so many women.  If you don't know what I am talking about then you haven't watched the greatest television show of all time: Sex and the City.

Now I haven't always been an avid follower of the show. It wasn't until I decided to see the first Sex and the City movie.  I fell in love with the characters, fashion, writing, and New York.  Since then I seemed to find Sex and the City reruns on all the time.  It only took a few days for me to figure out when they were on and what channels so that I could watch them all day, every day.  I found myself wanting to live the lives of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda.  I wanted the clothes they wore, the apartments they lived in, and the jobs they had.  Even though I may not be able to relate to all of the problems that the ladies deal with on the show, there is definitely one thing that every girl can relate to: great girlfriends.

That is the thing about Sex and the City.  It makes you want to have a group of great girlfriends who you can brunch with every Sunday and gossip about the weeks events.  I think that I have definitely found that group over the years.  Friendships evolve and change...some friends are your high school friends, some are just class friends, or even work friends.  Only a chosen few enter into that circle of secrets, laughs, tears, and love that is your close group of girlfriends.  After attending college I think that like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte I have found my soul mates.  I know it sounds so corny, but it's true.  These girls have made my life better and I know that we will be friends forever.  Right now distance separates us, but already we are calling or texting one another just about every day.

So today I am spending my day watching the Sex and the City marathon while planning a weekend getaway with my girlfriends.  I can't wait to gossip, go out, shop, and even brunch with my girlfriends.

"Today I had a thought.What if I…what if I had never met you?”~Carrie

Patience Is Not My Virtue

Patience is defined as the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like according to dictionary.com.  The past few weeks people have been telling me to be patient or if I'm patient that big break will come along.  There is the old saying "patience is a virtue."  Well I am sure that it is definitely not one of mine.

As I read the definition of patience, I place it in my post grad context.  I don't think that I am dealing with a great deal of pain or misfortune, however the one word that sticks out to me is annoyance.  My annoyance is waiting around for that phone call or email saying "we want you."  But it hasn't come.  Now how do I know that I am not patient?  Refer to second half of that definition: without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.  I couldn't tell you how many melt downs I have had or how many times I have complained about having now set plan.  So now that I have proven that I lack patience, what next?

I need to learn patience...which is easier said than done.  My life could be a lot worse, right?  At least I do have a part time job working as a sales associate at a store in my local shopping mall.  Some college graduates don't even have a minimum wage paying anything.  Also I do have very supportive family and friends that see so much potential and want me to succeed.  It is reassuring to know that I have a strong foundation to stand on, especially now.  Patience isn't my virtue now, but maybe I need to use this time for it to become my virtue.  In today's world of getting everything in an instant, I think that I have learned to expect that when it comes to every aspect of my life.

It's time for me to step back, take a breath, and just be...patient.

Take A Chance On Me

My daily schedule as of right now consists of me waking up whenever I please, watching countless reruns of Sex and the City, and applying for jobs.  My job search strategy isn't a calculated equation or a big secret.  It basically consists of me Google searching any entry-level openings in the broadcast journalism industry or visiting every broadcast company website searching for openings.  It is a tedious task let me tell you.

I don't know how many jobs I have applied for as of yet, but they range in location, title, and skills.  But the one thing they all have in common is that automatic response email that all say the same thing.  They tell you you're application has been accepted, the human resources department will review it, and if you are eligible for the position they will contact you.  Then at the bottom of the email it always says please do not reply to email.  It is satisfying to get the verification that your application has been submitted, but it never really says if or when someone really does review your qualifications.

Why do companies these days not want you to contact them?  Sometimes applying for jobs can be frustrating.  The only thing they have to judge you on is a few answered questions, a resume, and maybe a cover letter if they require it.  How can you judge someone's personality from a few words on a piece of paper.  With each new application I try to describe myself in the best way possible and let my personality shine through.  But I always struggle with how informal I can be or what I should or should not say.

My anthem for this process should be ABBA - Take A Chance On Me.  All I need is someone to:

Take a chance on me

Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie

If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Bills, Bills, Bills

I guess bills just come with the territory of growing up.  In the past I have been fortunate enough to come from a family with 2 parents who work very hard to ensure that my sisters and I can live a comfortable life.  However, now is the time where I am about to venture into the world of my personal finances and I am not too sure how that works.

Tonight I sat at the kitchen table with my Dad, checkbook, and credit card applications.  I need to establish credit, which I have never done before.  So I applied for my first credit card and was approved!  Now, I don't know if this is something worth celebrating.  Yes I will now have my own personal piece of plastic, but now that means I have to pay that little monthly bill that comes in the mail every month.  Next, my Dad updates my checkbook by writing in the total amount of money I have to my name...not a lot.  Since I am living at home I don't have to pay for rent or food, so I have to pick some other bill besides my student loans today.  Slowly but surely my other personal bills will begin to be added until I can (fingers crossed) support myself.

I will be the first to admit that I have never been one to be financially savvy.  I work, I get paid, I buy what I can afford.  I have never really had to worry about...bills.  Well today is the day that that all changes.  Bills, what a scary word.  So many to think about: car payments, gas, student loans, credit card payments, insurance, and the list goes on and on.  Not to mention that once I do get a job and have to move I will have to worry about rent, food, clothes, and hopefully have room to have a little fun here and there.  This is why I hate money.  It is so much work to keep track of it all.  I still want to be able to buy myself nice things and go on fun trips with my friends without thinking, "Can I afford this?"

The only positive to this whole situation is that I have my Dad to help me along the way.  I do like that he is slowly weening me off of my parents supporting everything I do.  I mean I do need to learn how to operate financially on my own.  So I guess that for now the bills aren't so bad...I'm sure that this will be the only time in my life I say that from this point on.  I might as well enjoy the few bills I have while I can.

I'm a What?

I am a college graduate.  What?  That cannot be real...it seems like just yesterday I was graduating high school.  Now I am back at home-attempting to unpack-and it is all beginning to set in.  What have a realized?  Post grad life sucks.

I'm sure it would be different coming from someone who has a job, new apartment, and is ready to start their adult life.  But for me I am back at home, with no full time job, and trying to fit 3 years worth of belongings into a closet and a few drawers.  As you can probably tell this is not my ideal situation.  I have gone from a girl who was always busy either doing school work, hanging out with friends, or involved in extra curricular activities to a girl who sits at home with her dog trying to find someone or something to do during the day.

Thus this blog was born.  I decided the best way to chronicle the ups and downs of my post grad life would be by blogging.  Until I have a full time job, I will be the Carrie Bradshaw of recent college graduates.  Blogging will be my full time commitment.  If only I were in my rent-controlled studio apartment on the Upper East Side...maybe someday.  But for now I will sit here at home with my dog while gaining inspiration from my trials and tribulations as a college grad.

For all of you other recent college graduates out there, I hope you will find this blog relatable and for me I hope this blog keeps me sane.  I am excited about my post grad life and where it will take me.  But for now I just need to get used to the whole concept.

College Graduate...a college graduate.  That is going to take some getting used to.